PUNS

Those who jump off bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon Vu - The same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always us condiments.

Shotgun wedding:  A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.